McClellan Reveals Bush’s Secret Crush in Memoir

by Jordan Zakarin

Seeking to distance himself from the Bush administration and exact a measure of personal revenge, former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan blows the lid off a number of White House secrets in his new memoir, “What Happened: Inside the Bush White House and Washington’s Culture of Deception,” obtained in advance by ReallySeriousNews.

A scathing tell-all, focusing on his time serving in the Bush White House, McClellan rips the administration of his long-time friend on a number of different fronts, calling them “misleading” and “dishonest” and saying that the President “betrayed his trust” on a number of different occasions.

McClellan reveals the name of the President’s secret crush in a particularly passive aggressive passage in the middle of the fourth chapter. The First Crush is outed after an embittered passage describing a time in late 2005 that Bush swooped in on yet another woman McClellan had set his sights on, with the then public relations lackey again left betrayed by a man he thought that he could trust.

“It got to be enough. I was eye-balling this young Coulter look-alike, ready to introduce myself, when the President starts talking to her, telling her about how much brush he can clear. Then he offers to show her Air Force One. It was game over. Add this to Condi, Karen Hughes, Michelle Malkin, Liddy Dole — this was the straw that broke the camelfucker’s back.”

On the next page, McClellan reveals who Bush now fancies. As a condition of ReallySeriousNews receiving an advanced copy, this outlet agreed not to reveal who the woman is.

The crush is not the only fiery section of the book; McClellan’s tome is filled with explosive accusations and angry anecdotes throughout. It paints the portrait of a frustrated long-time friend, dismayed at the decisions being made by a man he thought he had known so well.

“After a few months in Washington, I began to notice a change in his behavior, who he hung out with, the way he spoke to and treated people,” McClellan writes. “Closed door meetings with Rove and Cheney, whispers in the meeting rooms. Like, he had suddenly made cooler friends, with better lobbyists connections.”

Soon, he writes in the third chapter, paranoia set in.

“Who knows what they were saying behind my back? It felt like rumors were just flying, and I was left to bear the brunt of it in front of the press, with no real idea of what was going on. Just blindfolded, right in front of the firing squad. Just tossed me away, like I never spent all those years rubbing his back on those bad nights during the early 80’s.”

McClellan’s revelation is coming at a weak point for the Bush White House, down to 27% approval rating in some polls. Current White House spokeswoman Dana Perino declined to comment, though one aide said the President was furious, commenting on condition of anonymity that McClellan had violated “the age old Texan principle of ‘bros before hos,’ which has served as a core guideline for us for the last seven years.”


One response to “McClellan Reveals Bush’s Secret Crush in Memoir

  1. I don’t think the White House has ordered an assault like this since Normandy! 😆

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