President Bush held a family meeting on Monday, having to break to his wife and two daughters the difficult news that their home on Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, D.C. was being foreclosed on.
The 18th century white Sandstone Georgian mansion was to be seized by Encore Credit Corp., a subprime lender that is a subsidiary of ailing bank Bear Stearns. Administration spokespersons had no official comment, though White House Spokeswoman Dana Perino did confirm that the President would be able to retain possession of his prized mechanical bull.
The foreclosure came after the White House rang up a debt of over $9.3 trillion, a figure which showed no signs of slowing down, let alone paid back. Increasing at $1.64 billion a day, Bush, an MBA, showed no real understanding of his finances, recently proposing to reduce income another $2 trillion in the red over the next five years.
The mortgage default was largely the result of irresonsible spending. Having twice taken a big hit in income, Bush continued to blindly splash out on inane things, like lavish gifts for friends, as well as dangerous, high tech gadgets, which often times did not even come with all their pieces.
The final nail in the fiscal coffin was the outrageous pryamid scheme Bush invested in in early 2003. Believing it to be a “slam dunk” moneymaker at the time, with profits quickly flowing like oil, the President convinced the Congress to go in as investors with him, and they were soon handing over blank check after blank check to fund what soon became a cash blackhole. While many would choose to opt out and salvage what few funds remain, Bush has stubbornly stuck with the investment, and it continues to drain the administration’s coffers. His co-investors have yet to summon the courage to intervene.
Desperately trying to clear debt, the President did what he could to cut out what he termed “unnecessary” expenditures, liquidating his investments in education, the health sector, and attempting to sell to a series of private investors his holdings in the entitlement market. His commitments to friends and the pyramid scheme, however, would prove too costly in the end.
With the eviction, uncertainty surrounds the Bush family’s living situation. Aides are mum on the subject, wary of embarrssing the President. “It’s very humbling for him, obviously. He’s had trouble showing his face at Skull and Bones meetings, and the Heritage Foundation refuses to return his calls,” an administration official said on condition of anonymity.
“It’ll be tight for a while. His extended family has never been known as especially generous, and we all know how rough it’s been for the family business in recent years,” the official stated.